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One size fits all? That's T-shirts, not life
TweetONE of the most rewarding challenges anyone can take on in life is the responsibility for a baby.
To make your own needs and desires secondary to a child in your care is one of the greatest acts of love, generosity and compassion a human being can make.
Abby Bishop is a beautiful young woman.
I don’t say that because she is blonde, vivacious, gorgeous or compelling – though she is all of those and more.
I say it because her act of love in taking custody of baby Zala from her older sister Chloe – to give up many of the selfish joys and pleasures inherent with being a 25-year-old to nurture and surrender her personal life to a total dependent and to do that to help out her sister – makes her so.
I am proud to know her and proud of her.
Some months ago, a close mutual friend tipped me to the fact Basketball Australia was about to initiate a “parenting policy” which would leave Abs out in the Opals cold ahead of this year’s World Championship.
I challenged BA high performance manager Chuck Harmison on it at the time and must confess being blasé after he ran through the ramifications on the other elite athletes, how other women’s sports (such as netball, that MOST women’s sport of women’s sports) handled similar situations and when he said the Opals leadership group had signed off on it.
Now I’m not going to argue with anyone about Lauren Jackson’s bona fides as our greatest woman player of all time or even that she was the greatest player in the world there at her absolute peak.
I’m not disputing Jenni Screen is as tough as teak on that hardwood floor or that Laura Hodges has turned the misery of her London Olympic experience back into a personal triumph with WNBL All Star Five selection this year.
I respect and admire all three women. But none of this consulted trio of the Opals leadership group are mothers.
None of them know – yet - what it is to love another little person unconditionally or what prioritising that smiling, gurgling bundle of joy means.
Hopefully, they will one day but until then, they can only imagine what it is like to walk in Abby Bishop’s shoes while rubber-stamping a policy that says the single mum would have to pay for a caregiver on the road and cover all additional expenses.
It seems fair enough, right? This is the elite environment and the Opals are on the medal trail and cannot for a second be distracted by a crying baby. And we all know babies do cry.
Reflecting BA’s strong stance against discrimination, Harmison said the same policy would apply to women's and men's teams in the future – including Gliders and Rollers - pending BA board approval.
“We think the policy is fair,” Harmison said.
“A child is allowed to attend games or camps, but we want to keep the sanctity of a high performance environment and make sure kids don't disrupt training, games or team accommodation.
“Kids can come along, but those that need looking after need a caregiver and the athlete would have to fund that. We're on a limited budget and if we start opening it up to covering cost of caregivers, we'll run out of money pretty quickly and won't win any medals.”
There you go. If Abby was selected on the Opals team to Turkey for the Worlds from September 27-October 5 and took baby Zala, our medal prospects would severely be compromised!
Really?
I mean, seriously now. Let’s go through this point by point. Throwing a blanket “one size fits all” policy over this issue is nonsensical.
How often has it happened that a policy is even needed?
Common sense is what is required but, as we all know, the biggest problem with common sense is how uncommon it is.
For BA to say its men’s teams need this is laughable.
Women have made great and decisive inroads in equality over my lifetime but does anyone really expect say, new father and probably World Cup Boomer Brad Newley to now think: “Oh. That’s no good. I can’t take baby Beth Rosa with me now. Damn.”
This is an issue that would rarely IF EVER trouble a male. And if it did happen somewhere in the future, why couldn’t it be assessed on its merit?
Abby Bishop withdrawing from the Opals squad because this new policy makes her position untenable is a blight on BA.
Yes, this week it has trotted out its big guns, with players such as Erin Phillips, Jackson and Screen making concessional comments while endorsing this oh-so-important BA policy decision.
While social media has gone wild with offers of financial support for Abs, she will not accept any and will continue caring for her seven-month-old niece on her own.
The Canberra Capitals’ WNBL team or Abby’s Hungarian team Pecs maybe cannot be compared to the Opals, but both of those clubs have been able to embrace her and her situation, turning Zala into a team rallying point.
You know, babies don’t really care whether you won or lost. They just want that hug. And a baby's smile can erase many ills.
While I agree it would be unfair to force players into accepting a child in their midst, truthfully, who would it impact more than Abby herself?
Life is not about “one size fits all” or “one policy will keep our a$$es covered”.
It should be about judging situations on merit alone.
What Abby has done should be lauded and applauded.
And if we want to start talking about BA and money, never let us forget that for some five years or so now, the federation has been flying its marketing guru interstate and home every week.
Minimum two airfares EVERY WEEK for five years. And it is a constant.
He must be doing one hell of a job then, right?
And why does BA need to maintain offices in Sydney and Melbourne?
Money well spent?
Abby Bishop presented BA with a unique situation and a unique case.
Naturally BA decided a policy was necessary, not an examination of the facts at hand.
Because to simply say: “What a selfless, loving and wonderful gesture Abby has made by taking on this huge responsibility in a time of what clearly is a difficult in-house family situation. We want to show how much we support our elite women – especially those with this much character” is beyond the capacity of the decision-makers in Sydney.
Or is it the decision-makers in Melbourne this week?
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