Basketball On The Internet.

WHAT a ghastly tip-off to the NBL season. Melbourne United, shooting at a mind-numbing 35 per cent, saw off crosstown rival South East Melbourne 82-67, who, while managing to deliver a total only Aaron Fearne could love, shot the ball at an unconscionable 29 per cent. Magnificent opening night crowd, celebrity row fully in tow and Scottie Pippen along for the ride, it sure turned bumpy fast.

After a 29-24 first period in which Matthew Dellavedova went off for 12 points, United tightened its defensive grip and the Phoenix offence turned into the stuff you see at Saturday arvo church basketball.

Nine points? In a quarter? Seriously? Is Mike Kelly trialling an offensive variation, the Shuffle Off to Sleep? Or a variation of the Triangle, where you insert Bermuda and take a guess who is jacking up the shot this time?

Marquee league heavyweights Mitch Creek and Chris Goulding scoring six and seven points respectively, and both at 25 per cent, had me reaching for the remote, hoping they weren’t watching on Gogglebox.

As a spectacle, the game went much like Delly. Great first quarter, 17 points by halftime, nothing to show for the second half.

Luke Travers had a nice debut with 20 points at 46 per cent, eight boards, two assists, a steal and a block.

Beyond that? The good news is there’s only one direction for the standard to go.

MELBOURNE UNITED 82 (Travers 20, Dellavedova 17, Loe 9; Hukporti 14 rebs; Goulding, Dellavedova 4 assts) d SOUTH EAST MELBOURNE PHOENIX 67 (Ayre 17, Cummings 14, Cook 12; Creek 9 rebs; Cummings 3 assts) at John Cain Arena. Crowd: 10,175

JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE
Scottie Pippen would like a new NBL jacket, Andrew Gaze having rubbed through the fabric on his left arm during their third quarter interview when the game became as irrelevant to viewers as it was to fans.
LeMarcus Aldridge was in the house. Would have made a nice interview. Then again, maybe I turned off the coverage prematurely.
Let the courtside interviewers know that 1) players rarely, if ever, want to talk about their game, so when you gush at Delly about his 17 points during the halftime break, you shouldn’t expect much back. The guy is about winning, not personal stats.
2) Have one good question ready, then listen to the answer and probe that further. Listening to the answer is a really good tip.
Having played alongside the man many consider basketball’s GOAT, after sitting alongside Australian basketball’s GOAT, Scottie Pippen would like to know if he is now considered the Lanard Copeland to Andrew’s MJ?
Andrew Gaze had such a man-crush on Scottie, Luc Longley had to straighten him out in the tunnel.

TOMORROW:
CAIRNS at New Zealand is a clever draw element as these two twice have fought off for the NBL Championship, on a day where Collingwood and Brisbane play off for the third time for the AFL Premiership.

There won’t be 100,000 at Spark Arena but then stats that grab the eye – though they mean very little – is in this series last season, the away team won every contest (in fact it stretches back to their past six meetings) and New Zealand has lost six straight season-openers.

Cam Gliddon has promised to abort at least four 3-pointers to remind Taipans fans why they don’t miss him.

Though not necessarily a reflection on the season to come, take a chance on the Taipans starting with a road win.

AFTER recording the league’s longest losing streak (11) last season, Illawarra would love to give the defending champion Kings a first-round come-uppance in the NSW derby.

Sydney has a new coach, some new faces and a fierce desire to complete the NBL’s first threepeat since, uh, Sydney.

Jordan Hunter fronts for his 100th game, promising to make Kings fans forget Angus Brandt and Julian Khazzouh.

Oh wait, they already have. I just remembered this is the greatest assemblage of talent the NBL has ever seen.

Yet a Hawks shock is on the cards!

PS
Congratulations to the NBL with ESPN showing its games live in the USA. Pity the opener was an insomniac’s dream.